When Giving Comes Easily but Receiving Feels Hard. A reflection on why women struggle to invest in themselves—and how learning to receive can change everything

A reflection on why women struggle to invest in themselves—and how learning to receive can change everything

I finished a virtual consultation today, and long after the call ended, the conversation stayed with me.

We were talking about something I see over and over again in my work with women—especially moms and caregivers. Giving comes naturally to us. We show up, we pour out, we anticipate needs, and we carry more than most people ever see.

But when it comes time to receive support, help, or even permission to invest in ourselves… we hesitate.

Not because we don’t care about ourselves—but because receiving has never felt as natural as giving.

How Men and Women View Investment Differently

Before anyone misreads this, let me be clear: this is not about bashing men. It’s about understanding women.

In my work, I see the same pattern over and over again—especially with overwhelmed moms and women carrying the emotional and mental load for everyone else.

Women tend to wait to be noticed. We tend to be sacrificial. We pour out first. We justify later—if ever.

This isn’t weakness. In many ways, it’s how God designed us.

Why Sacrifice Becomes Self-Neglect

There is something beautiful about a woman’s heart to nurture, serve, and give. That instinct builds families, communities, and homes.

But somewhere along the way, that same beautiful trait can quietly turn into neglect of self.

We invest in our children.We invest in our marriages.We invest in our homes.We invest in our churches.We invest in our work.

But when it comes to investing in ourselves—our healing, support, clarity, or peace—we hesitate.

Why Women Feel Guilty Investing in Themselves

Instead of confidence, many women feel guilt.

We ask:

• “Is this selfish?”

• “Can I justify this expense?”

• “Do I really deserve this?”

• “Shouldn’t I just figure it out myself?”

Men don’t tend to ask those questions.

They see investment as alignment. Women see it as indulgence.

The Cost of Emotional Burnout

I don’t believe women struggle to invest in themselves because they don’t value themselves.

I believe it’s because we’ve been conditioned to believe our value shows up best when we are needed—not when we are supported.

We wear exhaustion like a badge of honor. We prove our worth through sacrifice. We wait until we’re drowning before we ask for help.

Investing in Yourself Isn’t Selfish—It’s Necessary

Here’s the truth I keep coming back to:

You don’t have to be depleted to be devoted.You don’t have to be exhausted to be faithful.You don’t have to earn rest, clarity, or support by burning yourself out first.

Investing in yourself doesn’t take anything away from the people you love.It gives them a healthier, more present version of you.

When a woman invests in herself, she isn’t stepping away from her role—she’s strengthening it.

What Would Change If Women Chose Support Sooner?

Maybe the real question isn’t why women struggle to invest in themselves.

Maybe it’s this:

What is it costing us when we don’t?

Our peace.Our energy.Our joy.Our clarity.Our homes.

And maybe—just maybe—the shift starts when we stop waiting to be noticed… and start believing we’re worth being supported.

A Gentle Next Step

If this reflection resonated with you, I want you to know this: you don’t have to carry it all alone.

Many of the women I work with come to me feeling overwhelmed, stretched thin, and unsure where to start. A virtual consultation is simply a conversation—a space to talk through what’s weighing on you, what you want to change, and what support might look like for you.

There’s no pressure. No expectations. Just clarity, compassion, and a starting point.

Schedule a virtual consultation here

Sometimes the bravest investment you can make is letting someone come alongside you.